THE FOLLOWING TALE HAS BEEN MADE POLITICALLY CORRECT BY THE I.S.E.O.,
THE INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF THE EASILY OFFENDED.

bbbbLLLLRAAGG....*Cough *cough, *wheeze,
Hi There! `Tis I Roger "Commodore of Soul" the Elegant Gentleman. 
Sorry I've been gone; I was in a chemically-induced coma, & when 
I awoke, it was the [UNSPECIFIED HOLIDAY] season! So I'd like to 
Bestow on you a Fable slathered in [UNSPECIFIED HOLIDAY] whimsy; 
it's called, "The Birth of [RELIGIOUS FIGURE]".

  Once upon a time, in  mystical place called 
[WHEREVER IT'S APPROPRIATE], [RELIGIOUS FIGURE 1] sent a message 
to the [GROUP] that a savior would soon be born in the city of 
[WHEREVER IT'S APPROPRIATE] as the child of [WOMAN'S NAME] & 
[MAN'S NAME], & that [HE/SHE/OTHER] would be the [KING/QUEEN/OTHER]
of the [GROUP]. The [GROUP] rejoiced, for soon their savior, 
[RELIGIOUS FIGURE 2], would come to purge them of their [SINS/BAD KARMA/OTHER].
Around the same time as this good news, the King of [WHEREVER IT'S APPROPRIATE], 
King [HISTORICAL FIGURE], ordered a census, & said everyone must go back 
to their hometown to be cataloged. [MAN'S NAME] & [WOMAN'S NAME] returned to
[MAN'S NAME]'s hometown of [SIGNIFICANT CITY] on a [FARM ANIMAL]. To their dismay, 
when they arrived,[SIGNIFICANT CITY] was already full of other people who too had 
to return. What were [MAN'S NAME] & [WOMAN'S NAME] to do? Since there were no Inns left, so
they were forced to sleep in a [FARM ANIMAL STORAGE CUBICLE]. Little were 
they expecting, but baby [RELIGIOUS FIGURE 2] was born right there in the
[FARM ANIMAL STORAGE CUBICLE]! All of the [EMPLOYMENT CHALLENGED ANIMAL
MANAGERS] came in to see the baby. They were followed by the three
[INTRIGUED EDUCATED PEOPLE], bearing gifts of [MONETARY THING], 
[GOOD-SCENTED THING 1], & [GOOD-SCENTED THING 2]. It was such a joyous
occasion, [RELIGIOUS FIGURE 1'S ASSOCIATES] sang:

"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe"